Dream quote

Your future depends on how many your dreams are, so go to sleep as much as possible!!

~(^.^~)

Children's Cow

In a classroom, a teacher want to test his students' IQ --then this dialogue occurs:
Teacher: "Okay, children. Who, here, has ever seen a cow?"
Students: "Me!! Me!!" (All the children raises their hand and answers)
Teacher: "Then you'd know how many legs do they have?"
Students: "Foouur!!!"
Teacher: "Now try to count, how many front legs?"
Students: "Two!"
Teacher: "Rear legs?"
Students: "Two!"
Teacher: "Right legs?"
Students: "Two!"
Teacher: "Left Legs?"
Students: "Two!"
Teacher: "So how many is the total legs of a cow?"
Students: "EIGHT!!!!"
Egan_version1

(^.^)

Respective Sons

There are four mothers who're chatting at a cafe. They're all talking about their son, the first mother talk to the other three:
"My son is a priest. When he enters a room, everyone's calling him 'Father'."
The second mother is boasting too:
"Yes, but my son is a bishop. Every time he's entering a room, everybody calls him the 'Blessed Bishop'."
Third mother also doesn't wanna lose:
"Hello, have you heard that my son is a Cardinal? Each time he enters a room, all the people will call him 'Holy Cardinal'."
Different from the others, the fourth mother seems reluctant to boast about her son. But because all three mothers insists on her telling about her son, she then replied:
"My son is tall, about 182 cm... A successful businessman... He's got an athletic body... Great smile... and very handsome..."
She paused for a bit. Egan_version1
"And every time he enters a room, all the girls will say, 'Oh my God!'"


(^.^')

The Interview

A news reporter is interviewing a super-rich old man.

Reporter: "Can you please tell me and the audience,
your life story from when you were poor but now you have this --very-very-- much of a fortune?"

Old Man: "Well, it was about 1945 when the war is ended.
I was such a poor guy that time, hardly had enough to eat.
And only got 5 cents in my pocket."

Reporter: "Uh huh, then what you do with that 5 cents?"

Old Man: "I buy an orange with it,
i always rubbed it until the 5 cents orange becomes shiny.
Then i will sold it to people for 10 cent. I repeat this thing another day,
i bought 2 oranges and sold it for 20 cents."

Reporter: "Wow, and then?"

Old Man: "I repeated this way and at the end of the month i got 3 Dollars profit."

Reporter: "Oh, i can't believe you've through such a hard time. And then what comes after that?"

Old Man: "Then, two years later my in-law is dead and we inherited 15 million dollars." Egan_version1


(^.^)

Just A Kid

At a park, a little child is sitting idly with his book open.
When he sees a big-bearded-man sitting in a bench across of him, he asks:
"Excuse me Sir, can you smile for a little bit?"
"Why do you want me to smile little one?" While smiling reluctantly
The child then goes sketching in his book while saying, "I wanna draw a tooth-ached gorilla."
Egan_version1

~(^.^)~

Money Quote

Money isn't everything, there're still credit cards. Egan_version1

(^.^)

Girl on the phone

A father has a daughter, who reaaaaally loves to call, when she's on the phone she can go about it for 3 to 4 hours.
One time, the phone's ringing and she pick up the phone.
Only 1 hour passed then she hang up...
The father notice it and while smirking says, "Well, ain't that fast. Only one hour? Who's calling you girl?"
"Oh, it's just a wrong number Dad...!"
Egan_version1

(^.^)

More Polite Headline

One day, a newspaper's headline says:
"HALF OF THE CONGRESS PARTY ARE CORRUPT!!"

The head o the congress party is offended by that article, then he called the newspaper editorial director and gives him a loud-yell-of-a-lifetime --and finally says,
"You shouldn't publish something like that again!! They're all citizen's representatives you should respect!!! Be more Polite!!"
Then the editorial director promise to change the headline for tommorow.
Egan_version1
The next day, the article on the newspaper changed:
"HALF OF THE CONGRESS PARTY ARE NOT CORRUPT!!"


(^.^)

Twins

Ebi & Smith is talking about their girlfriend, Smith just heard the story that Ebi's girlfriend is ~unexpectedly~ a twin.


"Twins? Your beautiful girlfriend is a twins?" Smith ask

"yes." Ebi answer

"Ouh, i never expect her to be a twins." Smith continues "Does her twin is still single?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Hem, i'd like to know her then, is it ok with you if i date her twins?"

"I think it's ok."

"Then, how do you distinguish them both from each other?"

"Easy enough. Her twin brother has a mustache."
Egan_version1

(^.^)

Love oh love

Such irony love is, check this story:


Having a relationship sure is hard...

Man : Finally!!! I've been waiting for this time since long time ago!

Woman : Are you willing to let me go?

Man : Of course not!! Don't you ever think that way!!

Woman : Do you love me?

Man : Surely do! I'll always be like that...

Woman : Have you ever cheated?

Man : No Way! I'll never do such a thing!

Woman : Will you love me forever?

Man : Yes...

Woman : Oh, my love...


After a five years of marriage;
Egan_version1
Please do read from below to the top


(^.^)

Cheating Student

One day, Smith's parent got called to the Principal's office ~it's all because Smith got caught cheating Ebi's sheet during the examination day.

Smith's parent: If my son is cheating, you better show me the proof...
Principal: Okay, here's the proof. Question 1, What's the name of Presidential Airline?

Ebi answered; Air Force One
Smith answered; Air Force One

Smith's parent: That can't be called a proof, anyone can answer that!
Principal: Alright then check the Question number 2, What band sings "I Got A Feeling"?

Ebi answered; Black Eyed Peas
Smith answered; Black Eyed Peas

Smith's parent: So they have the same answer, but that Ebi can be the one who actually cheating my son's answer
Principal: You're right, but let's check the third question, who's the writer of Romeo & Juliet?

Ebi answered; I don't know
Smith answered; Me too
Egan_version1

(^.^)

Matter of viewpoint

One day, Smith's just finished his philosopher class.
He wants to discuss what he has learned from it with Ebi. Ebi reluctantly listens to him.


Smith: "Have you ever seen God?"

Ebi: "No."

Smith: "How bout God's voice, have you heard it?"

Ebi: "Well, no..."

Smith: "Then, can you touch God?"

Ebi: "How am i supposed to do that?!"

Smith: "Yes you can't. In fact, nobody has ever seen, hear or touch God --therefore, There's NO GOD."

As a man of faith, Ebi grumbles then replies.


Ebi: "Can you see your Brain?"

Smith answered quickly, "Nope!"

Ebi: "Can you hear your brain?"

Smith : "Nope!"

Ebi: "Can you touch your brain?!"

Smith: "Like hell, No!"


Ebi: "Then, you have NO BRAIN!!!"
Egan_version1

(^.^)

How to transform your sheep

Ever wonder how can a sheep becomes lion?

Yes you can transform your sheep to a lion

I'll tell you the secret:

Give your sheep rice!

Rice, rice, rice and rice again...
...until sheep becomes lion.....xD

xD~All thanks to the movie i watched, Rowbeen Hoot....

(^.^)

Clever dogs

Three men are resting on a coffe house, each of them seems to enjoy boasting about their dog's cleverness.

Men 1: "My dog, when i order him to buy fish at the store, he can go alone and he could tell if the fish aren't fresh enough by smelling it. Such a great nose he has!"

Man 2: "Ah, it's nothing man. My dog can buy me cans of beer at the store, and he won't accept it if it wasn't my favorite brand. And afterward, we'll have a toast and drinking together."

Man 3: "Wow, you two have a very clever dog. But mine's slightly more clever than you guys."

Men 1 & 2: "Meaning?!"

Men 3: "Well....my dog's the one running the store where your dogs shop."
Egan_version1

(^.^)

The Story Of A Man

Once upon a time there was a man, he cleans windows of tall building for a living.
Today he's cleaning window on 30th floor, when his friend shout loudly from the ground below. "SMIIITH, YOUR SON PASSED AWAY!!!"

Shocked, the man goes faint and free fall from the 30th floor.

On the 20th floor he thinks, "Wait a minute... I'm not even married..."

Through the 10th floor he says, "I have no wife, not even a girl... HOW CAN I HAVE A CHILD?!"

Passing the 5th floor he shouts, "WHAA?! SMITH IS NOT EVEN MY NAAAAAAME?!!!!"

That's where his story ends....
Egan_version1

(^.^)

Trivia battle

Ebi and Mr. Smith are having a bet of a trivia game, who can answer the foe's question wins a Dollar..

Smith: "Now, answer my question with correct answer"
Ebi : "Alright... hit me already."
Smith: "What's 4 x 9?"
Ebi : "Ah, so easy... it's 36!"
Smith: "Wrong! Hand me the Dollar now..."
Ebi : "What!? No way, i answered it right..."
Smith: "No you don't. I already told you from the beginning: answer my question with correct answer."
Ebi : "Huh?"
Smith: "Well, you should've answer it by saying correct!"

Total Fail!! Ebi handed his Dollar....
Egan_version1
(^.^)

Kiss my ass

A Leopard is enrage. His marvelous skin pattern is stolen, and he needed to find out who dare to stole it from him.

He goes to the chicken and asks, "Hey Chicken, do you know who steal my skin pattern?"
"I'll tell you, but first, you must kiss my ass." Said the chicken, who thinks that this kind of chance to make-fun-of-a-Leopard is once in a life time, therefore, shouldn't be missed.
The Leopard has no other choice, he really need his skin, so he kisses the chicken's ass.

"Then i'll tell you," said chicken happily, "the goat knows who took it. Ask him!"

Leopard walks while grumbling, and he then ask Goat the same question. "Oiy, Goat. Who steals my skin patterns?"
"Well, i'll tell you....if you kiss my ass." said Goat.

Once again the Leopard did it and the goat said, "You should find the Deer, he must knows!"

Then the Leopard search for the Deer, but the same thing happen again and again. From Deer to Cow, Horse, Monkey, Zebra, Elephant, Giraffe.....until finally he met with Lubotikong!

Lubotikong?
Yeah, Lubotikong......

Wanna know what Lubotikong is?
I'll tell you..............but first, kiss my ass.....xD
Egan_version1
(^.^)

10000 BC Seesaw

Aah...Something's definitely wrong here....

(^.^)

Caution!

Anderson: What's the use of "Intel Inside" sticker on my PC?

Smith: Oh, it serves as a warning label
Egan_version1
(^.^)v

Army-phobia

Smith is a man who's scared of military guy.
One day, he goes by a a bus full of passengers. Then he talks to one of the passenger beside him --whose hair is stubble and has Schwarzeneger-like body.
"Excuse me sir, are you an army?"
"Nope."

"Are you a marine?"
"Nope!"

"Air force then?"
"Noooope!"

"Then you're a scum!"
"What?! Why'd you say that?!"

"YOU STEPPED ON MY SHOE!!!!!"
Egan_version1
(^.^)

Speedy Mini

A Mini Cooper is going into the highway. Not long after that, the car broke down.

Seeing a woman in the Mini's driver seat, a Mitsubishi Evolution X stop to help the lady and tow the car to the nearest service station.

As the Mini is being towed slowly by the Evo, a speeding Vanquish overtaking the Evo from behind--almost hit the Evo by an inch. Outraged, the Evo's driver immediately step on the gas to catch on the Vanquish.

In the high speed car chases, the woman in the Mini is terified and yells many God-knows-what cursing to the Evo's driver. She repeatedly honking him, hoping it will stop the Evo from going crazy.

Well, her attempt fails and the Evo's speed still increasing --making it goes nearer to the Vanquish. The woman still honking like crazy while her car's falling apart one by one; first the bumper, then the hood and all the bolts are flying on the street.

By chance, a news van notice the event and tape it while the speeding cars goes by the van.
Egan_version1
At night, the news goes public:
"This afternoon, a Vanquish and an Evolution X are involved in an illegal race. Both cars are speeding for over than 200 km/h in the highway. The unbelievable thing is; behind those cars, a '63 Mini Cooper, with a lady driver on it, is honking restlessly to the two cars in front of it --asking to gave way for her to pass through."


(^.^)

My First Post

My name's Egan, and here i am posting my first funny anyway pics.
Ahh... many of you may have seen this picture, but for you who's never seen it -well, you should laugh it out-

Behold....

(Drum sound)

......the infamous......

(Still drum sound)

....Mr. Bean Avatar-mode!!!!! \(^.^)/



Hehehe
Egan_version1